Thursday, March 14, 2013

Dear Boobs...

It feels like just yesterday when I was praying for your existence. As you know, I was a late bloomer, so I spent far too much of my teenage years in angst that you would never show up.  And much to my surprise as well as everyone else's, the summer following my sophomore year revealed you in all your glory.  I spent years trying to “minimize” your existence until my college years when I met a group of like-minded girls who as irony would have it were all well endowed as like me. We were named “The Rack” by the all too mature boys of our college years:-)

Through my twenties I began to connect with you in a more meaningful way. As I became more comfortable with my body, I found what I hope would be described as classy silhouettes to highlight you and enjoy the sensual aspects of your existence.  We have had many fun and important encounters over the years which makes this all the more difficult.

Luckily, I do not define my womanhood by your existence alone. I will not lie, my body is very important to me, and this will be the biggest challenge of my life thus far, to accept myself realizing the challenging journey ahead of me and the physical aftermath of which is still unknown. But what I know for sure, is that I have confidence in my body and trust this wisdom it brings. I realize that I am a combination of cells building an incredible immunity system based on millions of years of evolution, and my body knows exactly what to do to heal with ease and grace. My greatest job will simply to get out of the way and let it do it's thing.  I’m just sorry it will be at your expense.

Despite all of this being completely outside my control, I simply want to thank you. I know you have been doing everything in your power to maintain health, and that the cancer cells posed a great challenge for you. But I am grateful you have kept things as contained as possible. I have confidence in my doctors and using whatever medicine it takes to bring my body back to a healthy state and you can be officially relieved of your duty.

As I celebrate the good times we shared, I will also mourn many of the experiences we may never share, especially that of a child nursing, although many have tried:-). But while I will mourn this path not taken, I also embrace the infinite new possibilities of which I could never imagine that lie ahead of me.  While that specific moment may never be able to be re-created there are millions more that will have a great significance – this I am sure of. And so as we enter our final days together, I just want to thank you and honor you.  Please know, that while I may be a new perky “c” I recognize I will never be the same.  With love, gratitude, and admittedly great sadness, I let you go sweet boobies.  

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