You have written several lovely letters to me which I appreciate. However, as your body, I have a few things to say.
First of all, why the fuck did you wait so long. I know you felt that lump for months before you sought a doctor. And I am aware of all the excuses, "It's nothing, I'm traveling, so and so needs me, I'm just stressed, I'm on deadline, etc." All bullshit. You of all people who claim to have such a mind body connection should know better. I love you, but come on..
Secondly, I will admit you have demonstrated an uncanny ability to be present with each step in this process. However, I just want to acknowledge that it has been really fucking hard. We have been taken to physical depths that no person should have to encounter. I too am grateful that our spirit is as strong as it is to not have gotten lost in those moments, and you have been so brave, but can we please just recognize that we at least are experiencing those moments.
Thirdly, can you please cut us a fucking break. You keep trying to push the boundaries of what you think we "SHOULD" be doing, but can we please eliminate that word from our vocabulary and embrace that we are in a time warp where our only priority is to focus on feeling good, being surrounded by people we love and who love us, and putting energy to situations that light us up - PERIOD. Everything else will be there at the end of this or not, but its out of your control, so please, lighten up on yourself for the love of G-d.
Finally, in the future please just promise to listen to me and pay attention - you are worth it. There is so much we have learned together over these last six months and I too am grateful. I have learned that we really are a team along with your spirit, and together we will always be your greatest teacher to provide exactly what you need.
I love and respect you in such profound ways. And while I know my language is harsh and my tone is angry, I am so proud of you. You are taking each moment as a great lesson to be learned and soaking up all you can, and this is a gift. Keep your eye on the prize sweet girl and I'm with you every step of the way.
By the way, can you please pass this "PAY ATTENTION" message along to all of your family and friends. You would be doing a huge favor for bodies everywhere.
Love you so much ~ Your body
ps. Apologies for repetitive use of the word FUCK - but don't you just feel better when you say it:-)